A real story, in her own words.
A body that’s been through so much and a decision to celebrate it.
This is what these sessions are really about ❤️
Two years after the birth of my third child, at the age of 30 I was diagnosed with deep infiltrating endometriosis and underwent a hysterectomy, initially preserving my ovaries. It was quite a shock when my pathology results following surgery later revealed adenomyosis, along with CIN 2 and CIN 3 changes to my cervix, despite having a clear smear test 4 months before surgery, as my surgeon said, “better out than in.”
Although it seemed quite straight forward, the reality was far from it, The path leading up to my hysterectomy was a long process of back and forth with my GP, not believing my pain was real, “it’s probably IBS” or “you’ve had children it’s probably everything settling down” despite the fact there was family history of endometriosis and other gynaecological issues. It wasn’t until I had seen a doctor who had a real interest in Female health that I was referred to Gynaecology, that’s when I had a diagnostic laparoscopy.
Barely awake and drowsy, I was told yes they found endo and they cauterised as much as they could but not all of the endometriosis could be removed because it was affecting my ureter, which was too dangerous to treat, because of the potential damage to my ureter, I felt confused but relieved that I wasn’t going mad and the pain wasn’t in my head, I was sent on my way, I will be able to discuss the findings in 6 weeks at my follow up appointment.
At my follow up appointment, I was advised to go on birth control to manage the pain, that the endometriosis remaining should be ok and could still grow back even if it was removed. I felt fobbed off, not fully listened to, and really quite worried. I didn’t want to go on birth control, I had in the past, which wasn’t the greatest experience, it made me a different person, and with blood clots being a part of my close family history, it was a definite no from me!
After months of my own research, I discovered that I had deep infiltrating endometriosis, and that the disease left untreated could potentially block my ureter causing damage to my kidney, an understandably frightening realisation. This led me to use my NHS Right to Choose, allowing me to seek out a specialist endometriosis surgeon to get the treatment I really needed, which led me to having a Hysterectomy, I had my family, I had enough of the dibiltating pain and heavy bleeding, it was preventing me from being an active mum and really enjoying my children growing up.
Fast forward 2 years and the hayfever season hit me like a tonne of bricks, food allergies, skin sensitivities the lot. I was never one to have any type of allergy.. then came the knee pains, waking up completely drenched in sweat, having my ovaries still meant 1 had cycles without bleeding, what this meant for me was ovulation pain and I was noticing very similar pain to endo when these cycles would come along, feeling like my left ovary was going to explode, endo belly swelling, I knew deep down endometriosis had made a return, Luckily I took out medical insurance after I realised just how much of a struggle it was to get referred and a diagnosis in the first place. The insurance company I went with had a watch and wait policy, if I was symptom free for two years I could make a claim.
I had cysts on both ovaries and my left one that was giving me the most pain had an endometrioma on it, so out came the ovaries and any other endo that had grown back, HRT to keep me young, as my surgeon said, as if it was plain sailing from then, if only it was that simple, getting the right dose and type took a while to get right, especially with progesterone intolerance, which I needed to keep the endo at bay! It became very clear to me that menopause is never a one-size-fits-all experience.
I am now close to celebrating my 38th birthday, Its been a long journey trying to get my hormones balanced and feel the best I can, through my experience I realised just how under researched women’s health is, we’ve been conditioned to put up and shut up, that’s periods for you, the joys of being a woman. So it started a fire in me to train as a menopause coach to support women and educated them, help them advocate for themselves, give them a voice.
BEFORE HER SHOOT
I was scrolling on Instagram a few weeks ago, I found myself caught by this amazing company Red Bow photography, who specialise in Boudior photography, looking through and reading Alison’s story, got me thinking about my body and how much its been through 3 kids, breast implants, hysterectomy, ovaries out, implants out, menopause, in a nutshell. My thoughts led to, what better way to celebrate my body and all its been through, now I’m out the others side, feeling good and helping other women. And who better to see me through this journey, then Alison, someone who’s has her own story as a breast cancer survivor, who know’s what its like to lose confidence, feel less and work her way back from dark times. I’m nearing 40 in surgical menopause, and I’d like to inspire the ladies I coach, to go ahead, take that leap do something you want to do.
Feelings: So it’s a week before my photo shoot, I’ve bought a couple of outfits and as I was buying them, I got pretty excited, thinking about the poses and how sexy and feminine I’ll feel. Surgical menopause can make you feel like you lose your identity as a woman, losing your fertility, you go through this grief for who you were, what you had. I’ve had moments of doubt, of course, worrying what other people will think, but I am at a time in my life now where, caring what other people think doesn’t bother me so much, negativity doesn’t serve me, so I choose not to dwell on it, I harness the positivity and excitement. So yeah, I can’t wait to get in that studio, celebrate my body and feel beautiful.
AFTER HER SHOOT
Anyone thinking about having a boudoir shoot with Red Bow, do it! You will not regret it! After seeing their page on Instagram, it got me thinking about my body and all its been through, kids, operations, endometriosis, hysterectomy, surgical menopause in my 30’s, I thought I need to celebrate my body, feel sexy, feminine and powerful…. and my god, did I?
I had an amazing experience from the moment I stepped through the door, Alison and Hannah made me feel at ease, they are so down to earth, it was like chatting with a couple of friends. I took a few outfits with me and picked out a couple from the extensive range they provided. Stunning make up and hair done by Hannah, I felt pampered and beautiful.
Then it was down to business, Alison demonstrated the poses with ease, a couple of photo’s in and it just flowed, I felt so comfortable, there was no pressure, and even in a situation where I was scantily clad it all was very dignified. I felt liberated! Before I knew it we were all done, time for lunch, and a bit of chill time before seeing the final pictures.
Well, the pictures were so beautiful, I mean how often do you see yourself, so sensual, as you.. not working, not mum, not wife and everything else life entails, being completely honest, I felt emotional, just seeing myself in a very rare light, and the light was beautiful, Alison is very talented, and has a natural gift when it comes to photography. I have come away from this experience, wanting to book again.
If you are thinking about it, just take that step, you are in such safe hands at Red Bow Photography, these experiences should be on prescription to give you that boost, that confidence, the memory to look back on and go YES, THAT’S ME, AND I’M HOT AF!!
